In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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