Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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