i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
