Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
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at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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