you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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