I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I can text with my tongue
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
