WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
