Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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