I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
