We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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