I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
