Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
