hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
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I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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