Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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