everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Randomize
