you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
