You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
