Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
