I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
