i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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