how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
