that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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