Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
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I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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