It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
