Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
