There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
