and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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