I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize