no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
