So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
