It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
sex in a hospital.. check
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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