you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
