I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
