she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
