They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
