she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
