Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
