My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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