my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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