ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
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um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
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You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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