Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
