i don't like sucking hair
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.