Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?

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  (573): Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night? http://tfl.nu/dwv8
  Replies (23) Good night (4787) Bad night (1327)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles

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  (276): Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles http://tfl.nu/8prl
  Replies (8) Good night (922) Bad night (4972)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.

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  (702): Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better. http://tfl.nu/sd76
  Replies (11) Good night (4858) Bad night (1329)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.

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  (971): I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa. http://tfl.nu/0b4p
  Replies (28) Good night (5816) Bad night (1738)
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  (818): View more from California

  The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling

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  (818): The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling http://tfl.nu/93rl
  Replies (8) Good night (3965) Bad night (1080)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.

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  (781): I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance. http://tfl.nu/3nuq
  Replies (3) Good night (3063) Bad night (826)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.

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  (804): If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline. http://tfl.nu/1m8c
  Replies (23) Good night (3739) Bad night (1026)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no

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  (+44): all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no http://tfl.nu/jen9
  Replies (15) Good night (2670) Bad night (1372)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.

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  (940): An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese. http://tfl.nu/bzrb
  Replies (7) Good night (3409) Bad night (954)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.

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  (+44): My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head. http://tfl.nu/1t8h
  Replies (8) Good night (2423) Bad night (866)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!

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  (832): i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?! http://tfl.nu/yoqa
  Replies (9) Good night (2149) Bad night (492)
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  (310): View more from California

  You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.

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  (310): You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag. http://tfl.nu/d3da
  Replies (8) Good night (1349) Bad night (684)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.

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  (813): I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs. http://tfl.nu/cwm9
  Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (423)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming

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  (403): Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming http://tfl.nu/n2ay
  Replies (5) Good night (1146) Bad night (584)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.

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  (803): I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits. http://tfl.nu/etyq
  Replies (5) Good night (457) Bad night (594)

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