he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When did angry sex become our thing?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.