Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.

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  (917): I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer. http://tfl.nu/px5x
  Replies (1) Good night (723) Bad night (980)
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  (818): View more from California

  i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Heaven soaked bacon.

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  (818): i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like. (615): Heaven soaked bacon. http://tfl.nu/85uv
  Replies (63) Good night (4116) Bad night (863)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.

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  (704): "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization. http://tfl.nu/xva8
  Replies (24) Good night (4097) Bad night (875)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun

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  (304): hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun http://tfl.nu/jcw4
  Replies (16) Good night (4160) Bad night (590)
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  (707): View more from California

  left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen

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  (707): left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen http://tfl.nu/p86b
  Replies (13) Good night (605) Bad night (4715)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.

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  (630): Thursday nights need to stop happening to me. http://tfl.nu/p744
  Replies (8) Good night (2371) Bad night (933)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP

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  (205): i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP http://tfl.nu/52p4
  Replies (12) Good night (2312) Bad night (827)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"

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  (218): okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy" http://tfl.nu/xm1o
  Replies (6) Good night (1410) Bad night (631)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Ew! He's just a child!

  (361): View more from Texas

  AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.

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  (361): I'm okay with corrupting his young mind. (1-361): Ew! He's just a child! (361): AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE. http://tfl.nu/exs0
  Replies (46) Good night (3983) Bad night (1973)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.

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  (602): I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night. http://tfl.nu/7hpm
  Replies (5) Good night (1565) Bad night (645)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech

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  (603): Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech http://tfl.nu/2ee5
  Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (411)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.

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  (613): I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that. http://tfl.nu/ketf
  Replies (10) Good night (2455) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler

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  (615): And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler http://tfl.nu/itqd
  Replies (5) Good night (302) Bad night (896)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,

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  (603): well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge, http://tfl.nu/ijq7
  Replies (0) Good night (765) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone

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  (810): Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone http://tfl.nu/so8k
  Replies (8) Good night (468) Bad night (286)

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