I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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