I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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