I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
