i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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