i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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