just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
