You really coming over, don't trick.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
