is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
