don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
