O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize