We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
