Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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