My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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