what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
